http://www.sacredbodymidwifery.com/index daily 0.75 2017-01-26 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1485388958321-FP9045BGL0991UXVZOG0/HAphoto2.jpg Birth Stories https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1485394412942-HWNHDJ0CYEHAO69ZUR40/image-asset.png Birth Stories https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1485394481884-HRNWNBR6OL4WAJUVMLIJ/image-asset.png Birth Stories https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1485394823935-PUW3ZR7CXJRC6QPSD5D5/Screen+Shot+2017-01-25+at+5.28.38+PM.png Birth Stories https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1485394823303-9PWZCDFHOC2DE6VIQ92I/Screen+Shot+2017-01-25+at+5.28.44+PM.png Birth Stories https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1485394823302-TA20NVAONXQ8Y2ZMQLJJ/Screen+Shot+2017-01-25+at+5.28.49+PM.png Birth Stories 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Opening your mind to growth and transformation. Opening of your womb, as your body prepares for birth. Opening your heart to a love so deep and vast, there are no words that can describe it. And opening your third-eye to the complete unknown. These were the many sensations that I felt in the few weeks prior to our child’s birth. We were hoping for a New Years Eve baby, and so in late December there was plenty of sex and long walks (a lot of both!!!), with the hope that these would bring on an earlier labor. During our strolls I began to feel my cervix ripening, something of a strong pressure, an opening if you will, at the bottom of my uterus. The sensations would be so intense that I would have to stop my pace for a moment and let out a deep, long, “Oooooo.” Friends would joke that I was about to have my baby right there in the middle of the street, but I knew that these were just feelings of preparation. One morning I woke before dawn, risen by a strange yet familiar feeling of cramps within the core of my body. I lay there in perfect stillness wondering if our child was finally coming to us. Appreciating the silent hours of the city, the feelings continued rhythmically until the day’s first light. What began as a sensation deep within my core, slowly radiated outward moving through my entire womb. I was not keeping track of the hours or minutes as my mind was intently focused on the sensations. As the birds greeted the day, I had the strong urge to empty my bowels. Knowing that I was receiving some telltale signs, I decided to wake my partner, Khalil. He was groggy, yet excited at the same time. We lay there together and I informed him each time a contraction was coming on. At a reasonable hour, we called our midwife Sue Baelen, who happily replied, “Yay!” We spent the late morning enjoying our breakfast on the back deck, basking in the beautiful January sun. With every contraction, I practiced different yoga positions and took slow steady breaths. We enjoyed the sunshine for a few hours holding each other, calling our friends and family to share the pending news, and occasionally checking in with Sue. At one point, I went to the bathroom and witnessed my “bloody show,” making it very real to me that our baby was on its way. Eventually we decided to get dressed and go for a walk. However, as we were getting ready I began to feel like the contractions were requiring my full attention. We labored together in our bedroom until Sue arrived later that afternoon. By that point, I was in another world riding out each surge. In retrospect, it brings me back to a dream I had earlier in my pregnancy: My niece and I were at the beach when she asks me, “Auntie Ruby, are you scared of the ocean waves?” I told her that the waves would take me up, up, up, high, but that I was not afraid, for eventually they would bring me back safely to shore. And this is how I experienced my labor. Rather than consciously fighting each contraction, I allowed them to carry my spirit to an unknown place, yet with the grounding knowledge that I would return and rest in the comfort of my partner’s arms again. Sunset came and went in the blink of an eye. Both Sue and Khalil took turns pouring water over my body in the bathtub. At times I wanted his masculine love and presence, and at others I only wanted the gentle touch of a woman. A knock at the bathroom door signaled the arrival of my father and sister who had just driven up from San Diego. Both peeked in to say, “Hello.” After a few hours in the bath I returned to the bedroom and was offered some food and drink for nourishment. My body immediately and forcefully rejected these. In a sense of urgency, my partner offered his cupped hands as the receptacle. Unfortunately, my projectile missed his hands altogether and my sister was kind enough to clean up the mess. There was one contraction where I was slightly bent over, leaning on the back of a chair, with my partner holding me from behind. I caught a glimpse of our reflection in the mirror. I was groaning and writhing, though my sounds and movements appeared as if I were experiencing sexual pleasure rather than labor pains. After the surge subsided, we joked about the sensuality of it all. With all that loud ruckus, do the neighbors think we’re getting it on? We made love to conceive the baby, and it sure looked like we were making love to birth the baby! During another surge, the midwives suggested that I get into a supported squat. My sister, who had already been alternating with my partner for the last few hours at massaging my sacrum (the back pain was quite intense), took the lead. She held me firmly, although it felt like both of us were about to be pounded by a powerful wave. After all, I was 40 pounds heavier than her petite frame!! The midwives offered other positions. Late into the evening, or the early hours of the morning, the contractions slowed down and everyone tried to get some rest. I had some miso soup which was comforting and energizing, bringing the contractions back to full force. Since my membranes were still intact, my sister recommended that I labor on the toilet to try and break my bag of waters. I sat facing the opposite side of the toilet and with each contraction I pushed hard. My sister rooted me on for moral support: “Break that bag, Ruby!” I can’t remember how many attempts it took, but there was a huge release when it happened. The contractions were no longer waves. They became tsunamis. We returned to the bedroom where I lay on my side attempting to push the baby out. I was so exhausted I couldn’t even lift my leg, so I turned onto my back with my knees to chest. Three women hovered over me: Sue; the assistant midwife, Griselda; and my sister, Maria. “Breathe your baby down. Curl your baby down,” they chanted. When the baby began to crown, Sue smiled and said, “Ruby, reach down and feel your baby’s head.” I was so tired and all I wanted was to rest. I barely had the desire to touch the baby, but I reached down anyhow thinking that I should. A few more pushes and the head was out. The midwives asked me to hold my breath so that the baby would come out ever so slowly avoiding any tears. Well, at that point it was like a reflex. Trying to hold its head in place was like asking me to hold in a sneeze or an orgasm! So out the baby flew with its fist raised high. Rebellious little critter. The instant the infant was placed on my belly, I felt a rush of love and joy that was like nothing I had experienced before. My partner’s tearing eyes glowed when he pushed aside the umbilical cord and announced, “It’s a girl!” While the events of my labor are fuzzy memories with no sense of time or sequence and many parts missing—remember, I was in Laborland—I will forever recall with vivid sweetness that magical moment of when it was just me, my partner, and our little girl nuzzling in the comfort of our bed. Our beautiful love had finally arrived. Two weeks later, under the full moon, we chose her name. Reflecting her Egyptian and Filipino ancestries, she is our Jamila Mahal—meaning beautiful love. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1413258888037-1B5B58PH8OWEG0NWNY82/IMG_6102.JPG Birth Stories - Our Birth Stories We decided to go with a home birth around 28 weeks in our pregnancy. Up until that time, we had been receiving prenatal care and classes at UCSF with their midwives. While UCSF was great, we realized we wanted to try homebirth since our pregnancy was low risk. We got a few referrals and Sue was one of the midwives that was highly recommended to us. We were completely new to the home birth community and culture, but one of the easiest decisions we made in life was contracting Sue for our care. Prenatal Sue provided all the relevant information you would need. She had a thorough intake survey, which covers all the aspects of your birth plan. She has a survey for the partner to fill out which made my husband feel involved and important in this process. The payment process was clear and outlined in a written contract. We had the choice of doing a payment plan, which helped us immensely. Appointments were relaxing at home and for as long as we needed. She did all the necessary physical examinations and then checked in with us as a couple. I would say it's 75% midwifery and 25% therapy. At the time, I didn't think we needed all the emotional support. She helped us to be mindful of each other as future parents. Sue listens to you and will give you the space and time you need to identify the questions and concerns you have as prospective parents.... something the hospital/doctor's office environment never allowed for. Sue asked to have her apprentice join us and it was really a great thing to have a second support person around. Lauren Miller was her apprentice at the time and a great source of kindness and positive energy during our appointments. Sue would give us a lot of suggestions for preparing for the birth (special herbal teas to make, yoga positions to practice, practicing guided imagery, joining a prenatal support group etc...) but all of them where just that, suggestions. She never made a judgment call if I chose to follow them or not. She was 100% supportive of my choices. I learned a lot about becoming a new mom by simply listening to her tell pieces of her life story during our appointments. It helped us to TRUST her. This was so important for us and I think enabled us to have smoother birth because of this relationship we had formed. She is available and online! You can text, e-mail or call her for any concern or question. She sends links to more information on topics of interest and is prompt to respond to all our concerns. I've never had an advice nurse or doctor call me back as quickly as Sue has. Sue is funny. Birth Our baby came about 4 days before her due date and my birth progressed fairly quickly. Sue was calm and supportive. She took the lead when necessary and gave me the chance to make my own decisions about how to labor and what positions to take. She lets you feel in control of your birth process. The birth went smoothly, I felt safe and well informed at a time when I was most vulnerable. I think this was the #1 benefit from working with a midwife and doing homebirth. I would never have felt as comfortable and free to be myself if I was in a hospital environment. Postpartum I do not have a hospital experience to compare it to, but I felt incredibly well attended and supported. The first few days were such a blur of emotions that it helped to see her every day and to feel like we had someone who would help us any time of day with any of our concerns. When I got mastitis she was a coach and cheerleader, at a time that was very stressful and depressing. I wanted to give up on breastfeeding and she helped us to stick to our plan. She helped us to know our own limits as new parents and I felt like she was an advocate for our full emotional and physical recovery. Three years later and Sue still keeps in contact with us. Baby #2 We also hired Sue and Lauren Miller to assist us in our second homebirth. It was the same great experience with the added support of advice on how to integrate our baby into our (then 2 yo) daughter's life. Sue even planned a special prenatal course for "second timers" from a fellow midwife. It was very nice to have the customized education. Our labor was fast (1.5 hours!) this time around but smooth with no complications postpartum. We'd do it again, but we're not that crazy to have three :) Why hire Sue? Sue is awesome. I can't guarantee every person will have the same relationship with her as we did. But I can guarantee that she is a kind, intelligent and experienced practitioner. I wish the world was filled with more people who love what they do and do it with compassion, humility and intellect. Sue embodies that ideal. We're eternally grateful to have met her and enlisted her in our journey to becoming a family. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1414442102718-IMJDPGAZIBLUUKUOLIT4/Zivon.jpg Birth Stories - Zivon Where do I even start? OK…the beginning. Started when I met Sue back on April 4th, 2011. Yes I know, I remember the date. Its because it was the day before my daughter Che was born!!! I met Sue to re-test my GBS to rule out if I still had it and if there was a need to have any IV antibiotics during labor. Sue was my back up midwife since Maria was out of town. I didn't expect to have my birth for another week. Turns out it was, "Hi Tai I’am Sue, call me if you have any questions." Next morning this was me……, "Hi Sue. Remember me…. the baby is coming." The birth itself was pretty good, it was fast. Started at 6am. Back labored on the steps for a while until my water broke about 10 am. Went in the birth tub for a while and we had our surprise baby girl Che at 1:52 pm! What Sue did for us was be on the phone and talked to myself and husband through the first few hours very calmly and reassured us things were going well and that she would be over soon since we were newbies to this whole gig. Once my contractions, or surges may have you, became more intense and I didn’t feel like talking, my husband called Sue and asked when do we know its time for her to come over. She asked my husband James to be quiet for a moment for her to hear me moan. She said, "Ok sounds like active labor has started and I’ll start making my way over." She arrived just before my water broke about 10 am. During the labor I don’t know much else of what she was doing since I was in the zone, but I know she did her magic! She and midwife Kelly Murphy were setting up things, tracking my progress on a chart, and just being present. The presence of them and all the knowledge that they had was enough for me to be calm and birth my baby. Long story short…. If you have been told that a woman almost gave birth to her baby on the toilet, that was me. Yup I was all ready to go. But James plopped me back in the birth tub for the grand finale. Then in June 2013 we found out number 2 is arriving!!!!!!!!! What to do? Who to call? We had so much good things to say about everyone we had. We talked it over and over and over and we were at a standstill for a long while, but really it was clear. Since Sue wasn’t our main midwife she didn’t do our post natal visits, we felt that she missed out on seeing the baby that she saw born. What better gift to then have her come back and see her now as a flourishing toddler! I contacted her as soon as possible since I was late to the homebirth game the first time at about 7 months in. She said YES! Only downfall was that I had to wait until 10 weeks to see her for our first visit! Our 1st visit was great! She brought along Lauren her assistant in training. Fabulous duo these two were. Just amazing. So patient with my very severe case of the baby brain, all my worries and what ifs, and wild and crazy toddler. I looked forward to seeing them come for my prenatal visits. They were very informative on what to expect, had fun little flower essences for my water, involved my daughter in the checking of momma's belly and blood pressure. We giggled about numerous things and they gave me back that great confidence of “I Can Do It” attitude. I feared that I was extremely lucky to have such a good first homebirth, would it be the same smooth sailing again? By the end I was empowered by these two ladies and then it boiled down to not wanting to have my baby early and it being on Valentines Day. Flip side I really wanted to be done being pregnant. We had a visit Feb 13th, and they said in kindness that it probably wouldn't happen on the 14th, and that I should think Monday. LOL. Well I woke up the next morning as if it was deja vu all over again. "Hi Sue, Happy Valentines Day! I'm going to have the baby today!" (3:30 am TIME STAMP) I was very blessed to have Sue, Lauren, and Kelly at my second birth: my son Zivon. Again a fast and intense labor. This was also completed in the birth tub. (8:44 am) During this labor it was all belly labor. Very different and very exhausting. Come to find out his big head came out but his body was stuck for about a minute and Sue took charge and did like a lifting movement as the last contraction happened and baby was born. Chunky guy. 8 lbs 6 or 8 oz. I forgot. but I know his chest was as big as his head! Takes after his Daddy I guess. What I’m trying to say is that even in this situation Sue knew everything to do and just did what she needed to do in a calm manner. I didn't even know this happened till months later when I was chatting with Lauren about the birth. Sue was so humble to never mention this. I know she values her job so close to her heart and made it a lifestyle. I cannot say enough good things about Sue and her expertise. She is AMAZING to say the least. She not only is professional, caring, very on point and ready, but she has a really super cool watch that transmits her text messages!!!!!!! Also she gives the BEST hugs. If you are not a big hugger like I was she will change that. THANKS SUE AGAIN AND AGAIN FOR ALL YOU ARE AND ALL THAT YOU DO FOR US MOMMIES, BABIES, AND FAMILIES. Tai. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1414208654217-OX15WJ2BXKN4BTW4M261/IMG_4862.jpeg Birth Stories https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1406695990694-YA1UL7SUN9GVI3VBQ5RZ/Thank+you+portrait.png Birth Stories - A thank you https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/53d82f44e4b0046e8e343ddf/1440714024538-AHR0MHY26Z7PD3ZSY3IQ/Web-Res-011.jpg Birth Stories - Elia Dear Elia, Throughout the pregnancy, your dad and I spent a lot of time preparing mentally and physically for your arrival. We cleared our fears and mental roadblocks. We chose to trust in our partnership, in you, in my body, in our care team, and in the normal physiology of birth. We focused on visualizing the gentle birth we wanted to welcome you into the world with. We felt ready and giddy in anticipation. Finally, it was time to just wait until you were ready to enter the world. On Monday, July 13th, a day before your guess date, I went to our regular prenatal yoga class. Our yoga teacher, Jane, had a sub that day, and even though the sub didn’t know me, she could tell you were ready to be born, and gave us the best seat in the house (the coolest spot in the room!). At yoga, I went to the restroom, and was excited to see the first signs of the mucus plug! After yoga, I texted your dad, who was at work, to let him know that some early signs had started and that you were getting closer. I came home, took a nap to Rachel Yellin’s birthing soundtrack, and welcomed the practice surges and increase in bloody show throughout the day. That evening, we had a Ramadan feast with your uncle, Ahmed, who was visiting to be here for your birth and first weeks. I made some “spicy” eggplant to help things move along, which according to your dad was just regularly spiced eggplant. We all spent the evening relaxing and laughing at episodes of Garfunkel and Oats, which is a thing we think is funny. We went to bed a little later than usual, and I woke up around 2:30am with what I knew were real surges. I was excited at this sign that you would be joining us so soon, and treated myself to some Effie’s oatcakes and a glass of milk. I crawled back in bed, resisting the urge to wake your dad and let him know things were starting. By 3:30, he woke up, and I let him know surges had started. He texted our Doula, Shannon, and our midwife, Sue, to let them know that you might be joining us soon! Afterward, dad fell back asleep quickly, and as the surges continued, I thought that it would be really nice if they slowed enough for me to get a good night’s rest, and thankfully, my body listened. The surges slowed enough for me to fall asleep until 7am, which I was thankful for. AT 7am, your dad’s alarm went off, and with me still sleeping, he started his regular routine. When I got up, I let him know that surges were still there, and suggested a big breakfast so we could be ready for whatever comes our way. We had a good sense you were on your way, but didn’t know how long it would take and wanted to be rested and well-fed in case it was a long couple of nights. After breakfast, Dad began to make some preparations as I lay on the bed. He pulled out supplies for Sue, prepared the birth tub, lit some candles and put on Rachel’s affirmation tracks to get me relaxed. I put on my eye mask and began getting used to the sensations. Eventually, Dad joined me and we cuddled and relaxed in bed for about an hour. At this point, things get a bit hazy. I was no longer in my own head; my body just took over and time and sequencing were no longer easy to follow, and also no longer important. I remember snuggling in bed with your dad, and needing to squeeze his hand every time a surge would come—the more intense the surge, the stronger I would squeeze. I remember trying a few different positions in bed, but then needing to go to the restroom with each surge, which meant spending most of the rest of the time in the bathroom. I remember with each surge, listening for one or two things from the relaxation tapes to help me get through it. I remember asking my body to open, and thinking with each surge that it would bring me closer to you. Looking back, I am proud that fear never made its way into the birth. I am proud of my trust, acceptance in, and surrender to the process. My mind just had to get out of the way, and my body took over and did what it was meant to do. At this point, your dad asked me if I needed anything to eat for lunch, and I could not believe it was already noon! The time passed so quickly. Your dad grabbed some water and a smoothie. This is when the surges started getting more intense, and your dad let Shannon know we needed her. The surges quickly continued intensifying and were rapidly getting closer together. Your dad let Sue know that things were moving quickly, and as he was doing that, I noticed that my body was pushing! I told your dad, “Let Sue know I’m pushing.” He did, and Sue and Shannon quickly made their way over. At this point, I both instinctively knew that things were moving fast, but also couldn’t quite believe it because it’s not how most birth stories I’d heard went for first-timers! While I knew my surges were intense, I’d expected it to take a while longer for me to dilate, and I’d also expected have a pause between dilating and pushing. Instead, my body went straight from dilating to pushing without pause, and my mind had to catch up. Dad noticed my belly tightening like he’d never seen before. I kept asking him if he could see your head, and made him promise to tell me if he could! Dad let Ahmed know that Shannon and Sue would be here soon and learned that he had left for a quick errand! Leaving me at this point was not an option, so Ahmed hurried home quickly to get back just in time to let Shannon and Sue in the door around 1:30pm. Once Shannon arrived, she told us Sue was here and setting up, and let me know everything was completely normal and that you were “ just coming a little faster than expected”. Sue then walked in, smiled, and said “have you ever seen a more gorgeous woman in labor.” I was so happy to have her there, and seeing her so relaxed gave me a huge sense of relief. Little did I know, she was working at rapid speed to get set up for your birth in the other room! Sue then said she hated to ask me to do this, but needed to do an examination to see if the second midwife, Cynthia, would be able to get there in time. After the exam, we learned I was completely open and ready to have you. We didn’t know it until after the birth, but in fact, you were were already halfway down the birth canal! Later, when we asked Sue what that check was like, she said it was “the silliest check she’s ever done.” As I made my way back to the bathroom between surges, Sue set a few more things up and prepared the bed for birth at lightening speed. Shannon and Sue coaxed me out of the bathroom and gently suggested another position. It was hard to get up, but Shannon finally convinced my by saying “you don’t want to have your baby on the toilet do you?” I thought that this was a very convincing point. Sue suggested the tub, the birth stool, or hands and knees, and I chose to get in position on hands and knees on the bed. As I pushed, Dad gently stroked my back when he noticed we could see your head! At that point, Sue brought your Dad behind me to catch you. He saw the top of your head, and I asked if you had hair. Your dad told me you had dark hair, and at that moment I knew I was so close to meeting you and beginning to get to know you. Soon after, your whole head peaked out and your dad could see your whole face and lips moving. He told me all of this, and also told me you were a good color, which I found relieving! One push later, at 2:05 pm, your whole body appeared. Your dad got one good look before passing you to me through my legs. I grabbed you with such relief and joy, greeting you with a joyful, “Hi!” and then “you’re so slippery!” I finally sat back, and you lay on my belly with arms wide around my torso in a big bear hug and with your dad perched over the both of us. The rest fades in the background as our focus was on you. The placenta was birthed within 5 minutes after your arrival, Sue and Cynthia made sure you were okay and stitched up my tears as Shannon fed my soup and smoothies. We both wept with joy, and remained in that cocoon of wonder for days after. We're proudto say we all experienced the gentle birth we so wanted for you, sweet one. We're forever grateful to our beautiful midwife for being such a sage birth guide. We're so thankful for our first experience together as a family. Most of all, we are thankful for YOU! 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